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D

DEEPWATER

Guest
In keeping up with the Roseann's and the Belson's,






It is with great stress, emotional and physical fatigue and incredible financial sacrifice beyond comprehension,

that we invite you to join us as our wonderful son





Jeffery Adam



is called to

the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah.

Saturday, May 12th - (yes we realize its Mother's Day Weekend)





at the ungodly hour of 9 am even though you don't really need to be there until 10:20am to catch the real action. If you make it through the 3 hour service, please skip the kiddush (its
just cookies and cake) and join us instead for an overly



large and ostentatious Kosher (my husband's idea) evening meal, which starts at 7 PM ,


(not 8 PM .. or you will miss out on the 2000 ca napes).









(which we had to join just for this event and


you would not believe the initiation fees)



You will be in the presence of lots of


boisterous and expensive entertainment


and 60 to 70 unruly pre-teens wearing expensive dresses, funny hats,


fake bling and brand new white ankle socks...


as well as 80-100 middle aged+ adults, some balding, some with bad toupees, most will be professionally coiffed, designer attire galore, lots of REAL bling, and most "tootsed" to the nines. At least 1/3 will be hormonally challenged and some will act stupid while under the influence. Some will not even know where or who they are. Some will complain about the food. Blah Blah Blah.




Please have the courtesy of showing up if you RSVP that you are attending, or you will be billed for $210.00 a plate if you are a no-show. Please RSVP as soon as you get this and not a day before the cut-off date. I can't take the stress.



The gift of choice is either green, or contains a routing and account number. "Off the top of your head" gifts


and Gift Cards are a waste of your time and ours.



Hope you can make it! Shoshanna and Mossie Bitterman



Dress: Black Tie optional


Theme: 007 James Bond



BYO Kippot. I don't have the strength.
 
Last edited:
S

steveo32

Guest
WOW that was the funnest invatation I have ever read LMAO
 
Location
Huntington
Rating - 100%
26   0   0
You just described every bar mitzvah I have ever been to rofl. Funny stuff. I traded my bar mitzvah for a car which seemed like a good idea at the time but in hind sight appears to have been a bad investment choice.
 

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