I have about 8 of these in my community reef tank. They have been mating and hatching eggs the whole time, so they are what I would technically deribe as "happy".
I see lots of incorrect info on these in books and then that info gets quoted online all the time.
1) They are not filter feeders. They are do not collect food w/ their anemones. These guys catch food with their back legs and love the fozen and flake foods I feed my fish. I have even seen them holding onto a chunk of silverside and chewing away at it w/ their mouths.
2) The anemones are used for defense, but these little guys can live w/o them, BUT will only do well if you give them places to hide and if you don't keep fish which eat crabs: hawkfish, seabasses, wrasses, triggerfish, puffers, snowflake morays, etc.
3) They do better in mature tanks which are capable of keeping anemones alive & well, those species BESIDES Aptasia.
4) They fight w/ each other when not mating, so don't keep too many in one tank. The smaller one will want to retreat from the confrontation.
5) Individuals will live at least two years. I don't know how long they live because mine haven't died yet.
6) Acclimate them very slowly to the salinity in your tank. Many crabs cannot acclimate to changes in salinity very quickly. Use an airstone and drip acclimate them slowly...very slowly...I would rather take 48 hours to acclimate my Pom Pom crabs than kill them.
Hope this helps...much info you read in those books by Sprung, Borneman and lots of others needs to be taken with a grain of salt because much of it is anecdotal, from a third source. Someone they talked to told what happened with them. I have spent hundreds of dollars building up my own personal saltwater library, but it's only a starting point where your own experience and powers of observation have to take over. My best advice is think of each coral, fish, or whatever as equally sentient as a human, read up on it, watch what it does, and then ask yourself do your own observations agree with what you read, and how you could make it really thrive.