Your on the right foot: read, read, and read some more. As for your ?'s, you can only answer them. All i can tell you is bigger IS better. You want to try to gain as much water volume as you can, while still having an ability to drain the tank down to when the overflow quits resulting in no spillage over the sump walls. A float switch for your pump would be a nice touch. It's really up to you which size to use, are you at a later date adding a refugium? If so, don't worry so much about the sump. If not, then a bigger sump is in the equation.
Now for my setup: 15gal. drilled glass tank divided into three sections, 1) input from overflow w/ a soon to be built Beckett skimmer, 2) baffles for bubble removal, 3) return pump, occasionally carbon.
Refugium:
MJ600 pumping from sump into 10gal glass aquarium w/ 5" DSB, caleurpra(sp?, never can get that darn word), bristleworms, pods, mini brittle stars, Marshal Island LR rubble, some crud from Premium Aquatics LR holding tanks, anything i could get my hands on to put in this "stew" tank. This overflow back into the sump. I know it shoulr freeflow back into the tank but who wants a "fuge" 5.5-6' in the air?
Well, hope that helps?!?!
Anything that you may need specifics on i'll try to help, but there as many differents ways to reef as there are car models.
DW302