- Location
- NY
This obsession we have, oops, let me rephrase that before I chase away some soft reefers, this 'hobby' we all share so tirelessly is riddled with aspects that we derive so much pleasure from, we say to ourselves, 'my system has never ever looked better.' Your chest puffs up with pride. 'I could never ever foresee myself letting my baby take a turn for the worse.' An overall feeling of euphoria envelops you. 'Things just look so great right now, my biosystem is kickin on all four cylinders. This tank is on autopilot and I can't imagine there's ANYTHING this tank needs that I don't provide for it.' You take pictures, but these aren't for posting on threads. These pictures are for you wallet. There's room for the kids pix, BEHIND the reef pix. 'I don't think I even need to feed this tank anymore.' 'I've heard stories of those mature systems that some people have, where they don't even feed the tank.....anything. I'm told they put ZERO food in the tank for months and months and the results are literally the description of the perfect tank. TOTM on every board.
I must admit (with some shame), that I do suffer from the malady known as reef envy. :redface:
Then I came across a 'picture of a friends tank'. The last time my shrink heard that term she tried to diagnose 'my friend' as having OCD. For those of you who haven't seen a shrink yet, you are either too young to recognize you do not have a problem free personality (just ask your BEST friend to enlighten you, lol), or you're fortunate enough to recognize you are riddled with problems, but too poor (obviously that is due to the money pit called a reef tank) because this reef of ours has sucked every last dime we had (notice the PAST TENSE of the dime....we no longer have it :dead1: ) and now can't afford the time with a shrink. At least some of these shrink needing reefers admit they need 'the couch'. The more ambitious couch seeking reefer begins his or her (can't possibly believe all these nut cases are dudes) search for a couch shrink that has a reef tank in their office. Nice novel idea
Many doc's have tanks, right? So now this couch shrink reefer see's you for $175-$200 per hour, that lasts only 50 minutes. They do this just to drive you crazy right? No, you've already been diagnosed as crazy.....that's why you're there in the first place. Ok, at this time wouldn't every normal red blooded reefer try to barter some couch psychobabble for some LE Frags 1/4" of a single polyp, of course we all know the notorious RH :banghead: Should be a fair trade, even if the RH proves to be as valuable as a Coach knockoff.
Ok, time to discuss 'your friends' problem . This 'friend' of yours has a problem with order. They are ex-army and calling them anal retentive would be like saying Tiger Woods admitted to only 'thinking' about other women. This 'friend' believes that he should be allowed to glue his anemone in place so that it stays where it looks best to him :smash: Well the time has come to $hit or get off the pot. Time is money and this couch shrink reefer is charging by the second! This 'friend' of mine is going crazy because he can no longer stand to look at his reef. The shrink is amazed. She's heard how wonderful this reef is, how beautiful and running autonomously that it provides food from within the biodiversity for all inhabitants to survive with no other external sources of nourishment. We've got a picture of the 'friends' problem. The picture shows the detail with which our 'friend' has taken care of the intricate wiring schematics. This picture shows how an ex-army dude stresses about how the wiring should be done because this reefer is a member of an elite group of bomb experts who've been deployed to make sense of the entanglement of wires inside a bomb, intentionally meant to confuse the enemy and blow them to smithereens. Whenever our 'friend' looks at his tank, he stresses and keeps having flashbacks to days with detonations and lost comrades due to explosives that discharged when they were not supposed to discharge. He see's his reef as a ticking time bomb. Do you? Do you see the detonator in this entanglement? Do you see the explosives? How about the blasting cap? Is it obvious? NNNNNOOOOOOO he yells, this is supposed to be my stress reducing reef. Where did I go wrong?
The story of an anal reefer
As told by Russ "masterswimmer" Leiner
About his "friend" the stressed out bomb specialist
Please send your contributions to the Retired Army Psycho Bomber Now Reefer Collection Fund
I must admit (with some shame), that I do suffer from the malady known as reef envy. :redface:
Then I came across a 'picture of a friends tank'. The last time my shrink heard that term she tried to diagnose 'my friend' as having OCD. For those of you who haven't seen a shrink yet, you are either too young to recognize you do not have a problem free personality (just ask your BEST friend to enlighten you, lol), or you're fortunate enough to recognize you are riddled with problems, but too poor (obviously that is due to the money pit called a reef tank) because this reef of ours has sucked every last dime we had (notice the PAST TENSE of the dime....we no longer have it :dead1: ) and now can't afford the time with a shrink. At least some of these shrink needing reefers admit they need 'the couch'. The more ambitious couch seeking reefer begins his or her (can't possibly believe all these nut cases are dudes) search for a couch shrink that has a reef tank in their office. Nice novel idea
Many doc's have tanks, right? So now this couch shrink reefer see's you for $175-$200 per hour, that lasts only 50 minutes. They do this just to drive you crazy right? No, you've already been diagnosed as crazy.....that's why you're there in the first place. Ok, at this time wouldn't every normal red blooded reefer try to barter some couch psychobabble for some LE Frags 1/4" of a single polyp, of course we all know the notorious RH :banghead: Should be a fair trade, even if the RH proves to be as valuable as a Coach knockoff.Ok, time to discuss 'your friends' problem
. This 'friend' of yours has a problem with order. They are ex-army and calling them anal retentive would be like saying Tiger Woods admitted to only 'thinking' about other women. This 'friend' believes that he should be allowed to glue his anemone in place so that it stays where it looks best to him :smash: Well the time has come to $hit or get off the pot. Time is money and this couch shrink reefer is charging by the second! This 'friend' of mine is going crazy because he can no longer stand to look at his reef. The shrink is amazed. She's heard how wonderful this reef is, how beautiful and running autonomously that it provides food from within the biodiversity for all inhabitants to survive with no other external sources of nourishment. We've got a picture of the 'friends' problem. The picture shows the detail with which our 'friend' has taken care of the intricate wiring schematics. This picture shows how an ex-army dude stresses about how the wiring should be done because this reefer is a member of an elite group of bomb experts who've been deployed to make sense of the entanglement of wires inside a bomb, intentionally meant to confuse the enemy and blow them to smithereens. Whenever our 'friend' looks at his tank, he stresses and keeps having flashbacks to days with detonations and lost comrades due to explosives that discharged when they were not supposed to discharge. He see's his reef as a ticking time bomb. Do you? Do you see the detonator in this entanglement? Do you see the explosives? How about the blasting cap? Is it obvious? NNNNNOOOOOOO he yells, this is supposed to be my stress reducing reef. Where did I go wrong?The story of an anal reefer
As told by Russ "masterswimmer" Leiner
About his "friend" the stressed out bomb specialist
Please send your contributions to the Retired Army Psycho Bomber Now Reefer Collection Fund
