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Paul B

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QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!





Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?




Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?



Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
 

beerfish

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I think I can help with a few of these...

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Can you cry under water?

Pluck a nose hair next time you go diving.

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

The penny is the MSRP however when you put your thoughts in, you are required to pay tax on them.

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

In my heaven, I won't be wearing clothes very frequently.

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

So it doesn't roll away.

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Swine flu.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

NASA doesn't make luggage.

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

The phrase used to be, "Slept like a baby on chloroform", but it was just too long to say.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

What? Speak up.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

For the same reason little kids look at bugs under a microscope.

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...

I want to know why they don't buy me dinner first!

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

It doesn't matter once you get them off...

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Because there are a lot of indecent human beings.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Have you listened to any Top 40 radio lately?


I have to get back to work, but I'll try to answer a few more later!
 

Arati

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Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Imagine how hard it would be to make circular box...:eek:

because the square pizza doesnt fit in a round box and there is no need to make 2 kinds of box.


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Originally Posted by Paul B
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Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...


I want to know why they don't buy me dinner first!

because almost everyone is ugly when the are bending and twisting to get undressed and the dr doesnt want to see you naked even laying flat on your back where you look the least wrinkly and saggy thats why they put a paper drape over most of ya .... so they are leaving to save them from a huge Rolodex of ugly images in their mind.:headache:
 

TimberTDI

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Serious question that has always bothered me...

Why when you narrowly avoid something is it called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a near hit? Doesn't a near miss imply you hit it? A near hit means you almost hit it but you just missed?
 

cowfish

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Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

When the drive-thru ATM machine was first introduced there was braille on the keypad... Is a drive-thru really the best place for blind guy to be hanging out?
 

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